Apparently, some of us come here to be bridges, or perhaps at some point each of us is a bridge -
Between beings, between communities, or between worlds, each of us might take turns healing divides or opening up new pathways for more people to access new spaces in which to teach, learn, grow, and belong.
I spent most of my last two weeks in the woods with hundreds of strangers, friends old, new, and yet unknown, each being a universe unto themselves. At the two sweet festivals I attended, the crowds were fairly diverse in age, color, sexuality, and gender expression. Where they were not diverse previously, or now, they are becoming so, and the potential grows. One of these festivals i have been attending for 10 years was initially very young, white, cisgendered and heteronormative. This year it was just over half queer-identified folx and it has become increasingly multi-cultural. We strive to create a culture of inclusion and belonging in both of these festivals. It is working. We got astoundingly affirmative feedback from multiple queer folx of color: guests and new people on the teaching team. They all expressed some sense of apprehension upon arrival about what it would be like, whether they would feel seen or accepted. They were relieved to find that they were held and honored in a caring and conscientious environment. As in all cases, there are no absolutes. Many of us have grown up with feelings of not belonging and these feelings do not just go away. Folx new to this country or new to festivals, those recently out of relationships, or who have experienced ruptures or rejections in their personal lives, or maybe all of us? had moments of feeling like we/they didn't belong. Some stories that came up for people, including myself are: i am the only immigrant from my country here, look at me, i dont look like the others here, i am not wanted because of my age, gender, body type, everyone else already knows each other, everyone else is with a partner or a group, everyone else is comfortable with their body or sexuality, everyone else knows how to do this - i don’t, i’m not, i can’t… these are the stories we tell ourselves. These stories in general were not true, and do not have to be for one to feel as if it is true. When these have been our experiences in life, we tend to have alerts on for any sense of these things being true again. I see for myself and many folx that often we are even viewing the whole situation as if this is true, and as the ego mind will have it, it finds things to prove that these stories are true. So we put on cloaks of protection, guards around our hearts, airs of indifference or self-sufficiency as in, “I do not need anything or anyone”, or carry ourselves with the energy of “I do not like myself” or “I am not worthy”. With these energies of protection/ projection we repel what we actually want. Weird, true human stuff. Both of these festivals are designed to foster human connection, heart-opening experiences, and healing on multiple levels of being. There were many breakthroughs for me and for others, and perhaps some people went home feeling sad, with their stories of not belonging confirmed. I see the folx who just decide that they belong and go and make friends with their natural or practiced amiability, cheer, charm, generosity, confidence. It is such a joy to meet these folx, to hear them coming from straight-laced, corporate lives, restrictive religions or extremely conservative cultural conditioning, painful marriages and divorces, and find this world of freely expressed beings, anything goes dress (or undress), play and silliness of all sorts, conscious touch, sensual/sexual training, cuddle piles, etc.. and just be like, “wow! I had no idea this existed, and now i get to live a new life!” That. That is why i continue to teach, perform, lead ceremony at, and generally attend festivals. I believe that these events are a microcosm of the world. For a few days we come together with folx from all walks of life to intimately be with our differences, meet our edges, learn how others experience life, and find ways to expand our sense of who we are and what it is to love. To love all (or at least more) of humanity, the self, earth, and spirit is the medicine that arises from these magickal cauldrons of risk-taking, edge-walking, living with full heart practice. I believe and preach that each being we meet has a gift for us, a key to a part of us that no one else does. Each being can light up a previously unknown part of us by offering us their story, wisdom, experience, inquiry, creativity, care, or humor. Staying curious to the wonders of the universe held in the bodymind before us helps us to unfold the fullness of what we already are. Yoga teaches us that the illusion of separation is the greatest source of suffering. So much in this world teaches us to reject or deny parts of ourselves, to see our neighbors as “other”, to other anyone that does not look or talk like us. We are taught in so many ways that there is not enough for everyone and so we fight each other for resources of all sorts. Yet, we are not separate. We all breathe the same air, drink the same water, are held by the same roots and webs of mycelia, are fed by the same bees and plants, dream and wish among the same stars, celebrate and grieve under the same sun and moon. We all want love, we all are love. We all want to belong. We all do belong. I say some of this and lots more in my book, Dispelling the Binary, Tools to Heal Manufactured Divides which comes out this summer solstice, June 22, 2025. You can find it any place that sells books or join me for the first release event in Oakland this Sunday, June 22 @ Arise Yoga, Lakeshore 1-330p. I (and by extension my angel Jess) will be providing food and drinks, connection games, reflections, readings, and meditations. Together, let us celebrate the fullness of the light and the oneness of our shared humanity and life on this earth. I love you. I want to see you shine. I love to see you shine. It makes life worthwhile. It’s what i am here for. I know from my own experience that we can come back from the smallest, most stuck, lost in the dark places and shine shine shine. Love never dies. Join me in shining up the world if you will. Please.