Oh, the brain! All the plagues of self doubt, hidden fears, limiting beliefs, patterns of self sabotage - the Samskaras. Our brains love repetition, they like patterns, they form grooves of familiarity, perceived safety. These things become unconscious habits. I could be talking here about any kind of more obvious habits in the life - eating particularities, smoking, chewing gum or nails, cracking knuckles, etc... Moreso, i am referring to the subtle, insidious habits of thought.
Distraction is one of the most glaring habits of mind. Just when we have the greatest intention to get a job done or to feel good about something, we find ourselves on Facecrack or focusing on how something else does not look or feel good.
Darn.. What to do about it. Fight back with repetition! Loving, compassionate, inspired or forced repetition!
Often these habits are coming from a deeper place of "not worthy, not good enough, cant..." and so we go on to prove these points by way of not following thru and then making excuses for said behavior and thereby perpetuating our hidden, limiting beliefs.
Instead, let us write, repeat, breathe, the ideal feeling of our realized dedication! "I am grateful and fully expressed!" YES!
Yes. I could repeat this all day long but if part of me still does not believe it, well then we must love that part even more. Open the body mind by MOVING! Take one step, one stretch and repeat mantra. Write one word, one line and repeat mantra. Go deeper into your least favorite pose and (maybe cry and) repeat mantra! STAY there.. breathe mantra. See yourself free and whole and perfect and know that this body is not going to last forever and everything that you do (or dont do) NOW matters! Do something. NOW!.. and repeat mantra.
Let the mantra not become automatic but let it become a Bhav/ Bhavana - a feeling that fills you up, an ENERGY that leads the way into the ACTIONS that create the reality in the outer world.. Its all happening now, step into the flow.. repeat mantra.
My greatest dedication is to be of service to the highest good for all, to be an open book, to share my experience, strength and hope, to write a book -or 3. This has been my dedication for some time now. I have been REALLY getting to know myself in the process.. At first it started out with "when im older". and then "who am i really, what do i have to say thats new?" and then "maybe i need some more training, experience, a teacher, a mentor..." Of course, it is valuable to reflect on all of these things and to take action where necessary. Although if no action is happening, we need to look closer at "why?", listen to the small voice inside, feel the impulse and then the dullness that obscures the risk. Why am i suddenly tired when i am setting in to write? There is a conflict of interest going on inside.. One part wants to keep us 'safe' and the other part wants to open up. Struggles are exhausting.. On the outside i could barely even know this was happening, but from sitting in quiet contemplation, the truths arise in a quiet and unassuming almost wordless voice, enough so that ego -mind can say "NO!, you are just making that up!" Alas, i am not making it up, you big ol thinking brain! I am witnessing clearly that there are some scars..samskaras... that still believe i have not gotten as far as indeed i have on this path of healing and liberation. What i KNOW is that I have much to share. I am not afraid. My heart is big and bold.. My life is courageous!
So writing book is not working today? I repeat mantra and i write a blog. It started out with some lines in a notebook, it was attempted to be distracted by posted notes around me and 'gotta do' remembrances but i JUST KEPT GOING.. I hope that it was helpful for you. I think it has been for me.. Feeling the flow...
repeating mantra.. building little wins.. building foundation, humbling myself to the moment and letting the big picture hold me instead of trying to hold it up and living up to it, i live in it and live into it..
its all happening right now. i applaud the little wins.
there is a woman on a hillside somewhere who has been planting daffodils for years.. the hillside is now a vibrant site to see.