On Ancestry & Belonging

Today i am struck with my not belonging                      Today i remember my belonging

Again                                                                                     Again

I am not Indigenous or White, i am both                        I am a child of this earth, 

White is not real - i am Irish, Scottish, Spanish              I am a child of the universe

French Canadian                                                                  I live here in my heart 

I am MiqMaq, Iroquois, Cherokee, Blackfeet                  Upon this soil, these rocks, this dirt

I am the oppressor and the oppressed                            I am spirit finding my way in embodiment

My grandparents were silenced, shamed                        I am loud and singing, breaking chains

I have never belonged -poor, ugly, too smart                 I have always belonged - fed, growing, 

Awkward, shy, loud, mean, reserved, rebellious            Learning, trying, failing, finding myself

I might never know my place, i may not have                 My belonging is with birds and trees,

A heritage to reclaim                                                           Gaining wisdom by watching & listening

I have been told it is not the one of my heart                 Singing the songs and cycles of nature     

Although i have dreamt their cries                                    All the creatures are my ancestors

And suffer their silencing                                                    Here, now, teaching me

Because such is not the one of my skin                           Who i am is beyond my skin

I have been shown it is not whom i love                          Whom i love is my spirit twin,

As i was born and will die alone again                             Found when felt, in their many forms

None of this is mine, all of it is ours                                 None of this is mine, all of it is ours

I mourn the loss and the devastation                               I sense us waking up together

i grieve with the pain of the last white rhino                   celebrating the many ways

No one to love or to relate to                                             and infinite moments of overflowing love